So this video is kind of old, but I just recently thought about writing a response to it. I found this discussion between Amanda Seales and Steve Santagati very...interesting to say the least. In the clip they discuss the "Hollaback" video that brings to light street harassment. Here's some of my thought process as I watched this video. (The video is posted below)
*Disclaimer* I'm not trying to prove my point, or use facts to back up my belief, I'm simply stating what my thought process was.
Santagati: *laughs* nice
You think it’s nice that she’s cat-called and verbally abused every day by random men?!
I just love this because it is so, absolutely true. We're expected to always be presentable with make-up on and our hair done.
Santagati: No! No! But I’m more of an expert-I’m more of an expert than you and I’ll tell you why: ‘cause I’m a guy and I know how we think, more than you guys will ever know. I can’t get in a woman’s head any more than just thinking about it, but I’m a guy and I know why guys do this. The bottom line is this ladies
Seales: What?
Santagati: You would not care if all these guys were hot. They would be bolstering your self-esteem, bolstering your ego; there is nothing more than a woman loves to hear than how pretty she is.
You're more of an expert than her? Really? What, because you wrote a book?
Also, yes sometimes compliments are nice but I'm not always looking for compliments, and even some good-looking guys can make girls feel uncomfortable about being complimented-especially if it's just a random compliment from a person you aren't interacting with in any way.
So you're now saying that these guys (it has been publicly stated by the company who made the video) who are mostly African American or Latino have no class? Because that's not racist at all...
The only credit (out of probably the whole video) that I'll give Santagati is that the point of "how do we know some of those guys weren't planted" is a fair point. However, it doesn't matter if they're planted it's something that does happen.
Santagati: *speaking over Seales* I agree, I lived in New York City for fifteen years
Seales: And I will-and since you
Santagati: So what?!
Seales: But what’s funny is you’re saying that you know how men think, but-
Santagati: I do, yeah, how could I not
Seales: wait, but actually your comment was about saying how women think. That women-
Santagati: Am I wrong?
Seales: want to hear compliments all day
Once again...we don't want to hear compliments all day! That is not our goal when we leave the house!
Seales: That’s not what they’re saying
Santagati: No! Hold on! Hold on! If you don’t compliment me when I walk by, that’s abuse you didn’t bolster my self-esteem, I want to find you, I want to start a coalition against women who don’t compliment men.
Seales: *laughing*
Santagati: Stop me when I’m wrong
This whole thing is just incredibly wrong. First, why do you put air quotes around the word feminists. Also why are you associated feminists (people who want equality for everyone) with a negative thing? Second, how is this like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" when these are things that actually happen?! Third, yes if you compliment me "no matter how [you] choose", it is verbal abuse because I am uncomfortable. Fourth, you tell her told hold on the first time she interrupts you and yet you've interrupted her how many times so far? Fifth, the last part just doesn't even make sense. I mean come on, you just sound ridiculous.
Santagati: You’d rather have women compliment you
Seales: we are actually just going where we’re going.
Do I need to say it again: WE DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE EVERY DAY LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS!
So basically, no woman can ever live in any major city (or even some small cities) according to your logic. We shouldn't have to run away just because men don't know how to behave themselves in public.
Santagati: Oh, you know what my problem is
Seales: should just be embracing and welcoming to the fact that women are saying “hey we don’t like this”, not arguing why we shouldn’t. If we say we don’t like it and we are demonstrating that, then you should actually, as a man who has-who is a man of honor and wrote a book about this should be saying “well let’s discuss how we can make you all feel more comfortable-
Santagati: No, no. That’s not gonna happen!
Seales: and how I as a man who says that I have class, need to help and talk to my brothers about this.
Santagati: Look, the video speaks for itself. The type of guys that made those comments speaks for itself. That’s part of maybe their culture, part of how they were brought up, maybe they thought this girl was in on it.
Honestly, it's kind of scary how serious he was when he was yelling no and saying that it wasn't going to happen. Also, once again, you're being kind of racist here Santagati.
Santagati: *speaking over the newscaster* but we all look, we all look, we all look
Newscaster: *continues talking*
Santagati: Hollaback is a joke!
Okay...now you just nullified what you just said earlier. You just claimed, three times, that all men look at the women regardless of class.
Seales: Because that doesn’t get you killed right, because a woman got killed-
Santagati: No!
Seales: for doing that the other day in Detroit, actually. So you sir, do not know what you’re talking about-
Santagati: Then carry a gun!
Newscaster: Oh my gosh
Seales: and you really need to be respectful to the fact that a woman got killed for that the other day
Santagati: Well how many women get killed for it versus how many women stand up for themselves
Once again, this is a segment where there is an incredible amount of things that are worrisome. First, the fact that you claim you knew how tough it was: oh right, it must be very difficult to be a white male, who seems like he grew up well off, in the city. Second, like Seales said, women get killed a lot for standing up and saying no.
Do I need to continue?! Third, getting a gun will not necessarily help you. It can actually be much more dangerous and you're also adding to the violence. Also, some women are strongly opposed to guns for various reasons. Fourth, many women stand up for themselves...and many women are killed for it (as shown above).
*Disclaimer* I'm not trying to prove my point, or use facts to back up my belief, I'm simply stating what my thought process was.
- Issue 1 (1:08):
Santagati: *laughs* nice
You think it’s nice that she’s cat-called and verbally abused every day by random men?!
- Issue 2 (1:40)
I just love this because it is so, absolutely true. We're expected to always be presentable with make-up on and our hair done.
- Issue 3 (2:00)
Santagati: No! No! But I’m more of an expert-I’m more of an expert than you and I’ll tell you why: ‘cause I’m a guy and I know how we think, more than you guys will ever know. I can’t get in a woman’s head any more than just thinking about it, but I’m a guy and I know why guys do this. The bottom line is this ladies
Seales: What?
Santagati: You would not care if all these guys were hot. They would be bolstering your self-esteem, bolstering your ego; there is nothing more than a woman loves to hear than how pretty she is.
You're more of an expert than her? Really? What, because you wrote a book?
Also, yes sometimes compliments are nice but I'm not always looking for compliments, and even some good-looking guys can make girls feel uncomfortable about being complimented-especially if it's just a random compliment from a person you aren't interacting with in any way.
- Issue 4 (2:44)
So you're now saying that these guys (it has been publicly stated by the company who made the video) who are mostly African American or Latino have no class? Because that's not racist at all...
The only credit (out of probably the whole video) that I'll give Santagati is that the point of "how do we know some of those guys weren't planted" is a fair point. However, it doesn't matter if they're planted it's something that does happen.
- Issue 5 (2:58)
Santagati: *speaking over Seales* I agree, I lived in New York City for fifteen years
Seales: And I will-and since you
Santagati: So what?!
Seales: But what’s funny is you’re saying that you know how men think, but-
Santagati: I do, yeah, how could I not
Seales: wait, but actually your comment was about saying how women think. That women-
Santagati: Am I wrong?
Seales: want to hear compliments all day
Once again...we don't want to hear compliments all day! That is not our goal when we leave the house!
- Issue 6 (3:52)
Seales: That’s not what they’re saying
Santagati: No! Hold on! Hold on! If you don’t compliment me when I walk by, that’s abuse you didn’t bolster my self-esteem, I want to find you, I want to start a coalition against women who don’t compliment men.
Seales: *laughing*
Santagati: Stop me when I’m wrong
This whole thing is just incredibly wrong. First, why do you put air quotes around the word feminists. Also why are you associated feminists (people who want equality for everyone) with a negative thing? Second, how is this like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" when these are things that actually happen?! Third, yes if you compliment me "no matter how [you] choose", it is verbal abuse because I am uncomfortable. Fourth, you tell her told hold on the first time she interrupts you and yet you've interrupted her how many times so far? Fifth, the last part just doesn't even make sense. I mean come on, you just sound ridiculous.
- Issue 7 (4:52)
Santagati: You’d rather have women compliment you
Seales: we are actually just going where we’re going.
Do I need to say it again: WE DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE EVERY DAY LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS!
- Issue 8 (5:28)
So basically, no woman can ever live in any major city (or even some small cities) according to your logic. We shouldn't have to run away just because men don't know how to behave themselves in public.
- Issue 9 (5:33)
Santagati: Oh, you know what my problem is
Seales: should just be embracing and welcoming to the fact that women are saying “hey we don’t like this”, not arguing why we shouldn’t. If we say we don’t like it and we are demonstrating that, then you should actually, as a man who has-who is a man of honor and wrote a book about this should be saying “well let’s discuss how we can make you all feel more comfortable-
Santagati: No, no. That’s not gonna happen!
Seales: and how I as a man who says that I have class, need to help and talk to my brothers about this.
Santagati: Look, the video speaks for itself. The type of guys that made those comments speaks for itself. That’s part of maybe their culture, part of how they were brought up, maybe they thought this girl was in on it.
Honestly, it's kind of scary how serious he was when he was yelling no and saying that it wasn't going to happen. Also, once again, you're being kind of racist here Santagati.
- Issue 10 (6:16)
Santagati: *speaking over the newscaster* but we all look, we all look, we all look
Newscaster: *continues talking*
Santagati: Hollaback is a joke!
Okay...now you just nullified what you just said earlier. You just claimed, three times, that all men look at the women regardless of class.
- Issue 11 (6:54)
Seales: Because that doesn’t get you killed right, because a woman got killed-
Santagati: No!
Seales: for doing that the other day in Detroit, actually. So you sir, do not know what you’re talking about-
Santagati: Then carry a gun!
Newscaster: Oh my gosh
Seales: and you really need to be respectful to the fact that a woman got killed for that the other day
Santagati: Well how many women get killed for it versus how many women stand up for themselves
Once again, this is a segment where there is an incredible amount of things that are worrisome. First, the fact that you claim you knew how tough it was: oh right, it must be very difficult to be a white male, who seems like he grew up well off, in the city. Second, like Seales said, women get killed a lot for standing up and saying no.
- Stabbed to death for saying rejecting a boy for prom when she already had a date.
- Shooting spree because a male feels entitled to have sex with women.
- Shot to death after rejecting a man's advances at a club.
- Glass shattered across her face after rejecting a man's advances at a club.
- Stabbed to death (with her girlfriend) for turning down a man (she was a lesbian).
- Beat to death for standing up for two teenage girls being harassed.
- Raped, murdered, and hung from a tree for turning a man down for sex.
Do I need to continue?! Third, getting a gun will not necessarily help you. It can actually be much more dangerous and you're also adding to the violence. Also, some women are strongly opposed to guns for various reasons. Fourth, many women stand up for themselves...and many women are killed for it (as shown above).