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Today I was listening to my country music on shuffle and "never grow up" started playing. Honestly, I don't think that I've heard it since I was in college and although I've always liked this song, I realize how much I can really relate to it now.
When you're growing up you're excited to leave your parents, you're excited to go off and start your life; you're excited to not have someone controlling you. What you don't realize as your growing up is that being away from your parents is actually very hard (assuming you have a good/decent relationship with your parents).
All of my friends have their parents in-state and within a two hours drive away. And then there's me...
My friends get to go home and have home cooked meals, hugs, people taking care of them, and an actual "home" to go to. When I go "home" I eat out by myself or cook for myself, I take care of myself, and my "home" is actually my cousin's house.
When I was in my senior year I didn't think about all of the things I would miss out on with my parents being overseas. I didn't think about how my dad and I won't be able to go to any games together. I didn't think about how my dad and I won't be able to spend dad's weekend together. I didn't think about how I would have to go for six whole months without seeing any immediate family. I didn't think about how I would be alone on mother's weekend while my roommates spend the weekend with their mom. I didn't think about how I would have nobody to reassure me it was okay. I didn't think about how I would have nobody to give me a hug when I was stressed out. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have anyone to take care of me when I was sick. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have home cooked meals in a family-atmosphere. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have my mom to talk to about everything from boy problems, to school stresses, to moral and political issues.
A few weeks ago one of my roommates said something along the lines of "you may be used to doing things on your own but we haven't had to get to that point". What's sad is that I am kind of used to doing things on my own: I'm used to fixing my car by myself, I'm used to moving furniture by myself, I'm used to being responsible without any incentive from my parents. It's a plus sometimes, but other times I think about it and it just hurts...I can actually say that when I'm not distracting myself with overloading on school or doing big events with friends, I get pretty lonely.
I miss waking up and having coffee and watching football with my dad. I miss driving to school and work together with my dad. I miss Thai dinner dates with my mom where we talk for hours after we finish our food. I miss playing card games and board games with my parents just because.
Basically...I just miss having family around.
When you're growing up you're excited to leave your parents, you're excited to go off and start your life; you're excited to not have someone controlling you. What you don't realize as your growing up is that being away from your parents is actually very hard (assuming you have a good/decent relationship with your parents).
All of my friends have their parents in-state and within a two hours drive away. And then there's me...
My friends get to go home and have home cooked meals, hugs, people taking care of them, and an actual "home" to go to. When I go "home" I eat out by myself or cook for myself, I take care of myself, and my "home" is actually my cousin's house.
When I was in my senior year I didn't think about all of the things I would miss out on with my parents being overseas. I didn't think about how my dad and I won't be able to go to any games together. I didn't think about how my dad and I won't be able to spend dad's weekend together. I didn't think about how I would have to go for six whole months without seeing any immediate family. I didn't think about how I would be alone on mother's weekend while my roommates spend the weekend with their mom. I didn't think about how I would have nobody to reassure me it was okay. I didn't think about how I would have nobody to give me a hug when I was stressed out. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have anyone to take care of me when I was sick. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have home cooked meals in a family-atmosphere. I didn't think about how I wouldn't have my mom to talk to about everything from boy problems, to school stresses, to moral and political issues.
A few weeks ago one of my roommates said something along the lines of "you may be used to doing things on your own but we haven't had to get to that point". What's sad is that I am kind of used to doing things on my own: I'm used to fixing my car by myself, I'm used to moving furniture by myself, I'm used to being responsible without any incentive from my parents. It's a plus sometimes, but other times I think about it and it just hurts...I can actually say that when I'm not distracting myself with overloading on school or doing big events with friends, I get pretty lonely.
I miss waking up and having coffee and watching football with my dad. I miss driving to school and work together with my dad. I miss Thai dinner dates with my mom where we talk for hours after we finish our food. I miss playing card games and board games with my parents just because.
Basically...I just miss having family around.